I hate myself for always going back to you, I feel so pathetic that I can’t go one day without talking to you or that my plans depend on what you’re doing and that I will fuck up all of it up just to see you. But you know what really fucks me over? The fact I am terrified to tell you any real feeling I have for you, I’m terrified to tell you how amazing you really are and that you didn’t deserve to be treated like you did. I know deep down inside that the reason you are the way you are is because you got hurt and that your cutting yourself off to any emotion that could leave you hurt again. That when ever you get close to feeling what I feel for you, you hide it and become something I cant even describe.

I keep thinking of ways to break you out of this rut you’re in, maybe a long speech or a romantic gesture. Like you see in the movies, when the other person swoons and i’ts a happy ending from there on. I have always gotten my way and the fact I feel like I cant change you or us, it hurts un-controllably. But maybe thats the reason why I keep coming back, you always want what you can’t have.